


Bello

by Ono (DistantShenanigans)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempts to Fix-It, Betrayal, Child Neglect, Family Feels, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Inuzuka Clan, Konoha Village, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Panic Attacks, Past Child Death, Past Lives, Self-Esteem Issues, Suna Village, Violence, mild descriptions of children about to get hit by a car
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-28
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-01-06 12:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12211653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DistantShenanigans/pseuds/Ono
Summary: Kankuro just wanted to make his village, hisfather, proud.He hadn't expected he'd end up with memories of another life.





	1. Traitor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SparkleMoose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkleMoose/gifts).



> bello  
> war, fight, wage war, carry on war, contend

It was an easy task, Kankuro mused as he sat taking the written exam. Use Karasu to get the answers to the written exam, go to the bathroom, and collect the answers. For Kankuro, who'd been using puppets since he was a kid, this task was child's play.

He stayed calm, when something in his brain flipped a switch. He used Karasu to collect the answers, and then claimed he had to go to the bathroom.

That's where he began to panic.

“ _Come on Alex!_ ” The voice of a little girl echoed in his mind, and Kankuro held his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. “ _Come on! Mama's waitin'!_ ”

“ _Haha, wait up, Nina!_ ” The vision of the little girl entered his mind, and he felt sick.

A little girl, maybe four years old, with bright brown eyes, and blond hair, was smiling and reaching up to him. The sounds of screaming.

A young nine year old boy, with black hair, and green eyes, staring into a mirror, eyes dull and wet as tears were unshed, bandages wrapped around his arms, and neck, and head, and chest. A hospital gown covering him. The hospital band saying their name is Alexis, not Alex. It's a lie; Alex isn't either a girl or a boy, but prefers being a boy to being a girl.

A show, where Kankuro's father is found dead, killed by Orochimaru before the final exam.

The little kid, Alex, removing his ivee, his hospital gown. Changing into shorts and a sweatshirt and climbing onto the window sill.

“Oh god-” Kankuro ran into the stall, and vomited. It made no sense.

 _It made no sense_.

And yet it made a lot of sense.

The Hidden Sound village wanting to invade and destroy Konoha, using Suna as cannon-fodder for it, when there's not a stable relationship between Konoha and Suna yet.

Yet being the operative word. They would get there. Their alliance would grow again, and they would become great friends. Until then, he needed to find a way to stop everything. To stop the attack and stop Orochimaru from getting his hands on Sasuke, and save his parents. Or, his father, at least.

It was too late to save his mother. She had loved them all, and made sure to take time out of the day to spend one-on-one time with Kankuro, while his father trained his sister. His mother, whose love he never questioned. She died, when Gaara was born, and Kankuro knew it was wrong of him to blame Gaara, but for now he wasn't friends with his little brother, and Gaara wasn't anyone to be friends with right now, so it was okay to blame him, just a little bit.

He could save his father, though. Maybe. He would try to, at least. Even if he _didn't_ know if his father really loved him.

He rinsed his mouth and splashed water onto his face, breathing harshly. He'd be late getting back, at this rate, but he couldn't find himself to care. He should, he knew, since Temari was counting on him to not be the liability on this mission.

It was disgusting, how his father saw the chuunin exam as a mission to invade Konoha, instead of an exam for genin to take to become chuunin.

He returned, just in time to be passed with the rest of the genin still in the room. When they were dismissed, Temari glared at him.

“You are _lucky_!” She hissed, “You are _lucky_ , Kankuro! Father's counting on us so _don't screw up tomorrow_!” He nodded, not saying anything. Baki said nothing, when he collected them and took them back to the hotel room.

' _What to do... what to do..._ ' He thought, heart racing. The sun was setting, and he knew the others were out eating, but Kankuro claimed not feeling well, and it wasn't hard to be believed when he admitted the truth of vomiting in the bathroom earlier.

“ _Kankuro! You should have said something earlier about being sick!_ ” Temari had scolded him at the time. It seemed like she had been worried, but Kankuro could never tell, so he pushed that to the back of his mind for the time being.

He hated that, no matter what he came up with, he couldn't find a way to save his father. He cried quietly, feeling helpless. He needed to stop this. This being... well, everything. But how could he do that, if he couldn't save his father?

“ _Alex, Mama says you're not a'posed to fight. You're a'posed to go get an adult!_ ” Nina's voice entered his mind again, and Kankuro felt his chest tighten at that.

Alex wasn't allowed to fight. Alex wasn't ever meant to be a fighter. He had lost his little sister because of it.

Kankuro was a fighter, though. He was _trained_ to be one, to be a _killer_ , even, and with Nina's words in his mind, Kankuro found his resolve, and the start of a plan.

He left before his siblings and Baki came back, and he managed to find someone that would take him to the Hokage.

With a deep breath, he was led into the Hokage's office, and Kankuro couldn't stop his heart from racing. He stayed strong, though, as he stood in front of the old man.

“What can I do for you at this hour?” The Hokage asked, and Kankuro's words caught in his throat.

Was he really about to betray his village? His _father_?

He felt a warm hand on his chest, and his breaths were starting to come easier. When his mind began to clear, Kankuro realized he'd started having another panic attack, and a young woman with triangles on her face was in front of him.

“Sir, I recommend finding his sensei, find out what's going on-”

“No!” Kankuro cried, cutting someone off. “No!”

“Hmm, you heard the boy, Raidou.” The Hokage said, “Hana, how is he?”

“Well, I'm not sure what set him off, but he'll alright.” The medic, Hana – Hana Inuzuka? – said.

“Hmm... Thank you. I'd like to speak to the boy alone.”

“Lord Hokage-”

“Raidou, I assure you, I will be fine.” The old man cut the man off, and Raidou sighed, but left with Hana and the other shinobi that had been in the room.

He'd be fine. He just had to focus on the task at hand.

“Kankuro of the Sand, yes?” The Hokage asked him, and Kankuro nodded. “What seems to be bothering you, Kankuro?”

This was it. The moment of truth. Was he _really_ going to betray his family and village?

“Don't trust my father.” Kankuro said, and the Hokage frowned at that.

“Do I need ANBU in here, Kankuro?”

“Orochimaru is the leader of the Sound Village.” He pushed forward. “He's going to kill my father, and-and-and he's using our village to launch an invasion against Konoha.”

He was doing it to fight the problem. He was doing it to save them. But in doing so, he was betraying them, he knew that. There was no going back.

Kankuro of the Sand was now a traitor.

 


	2. Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kankuro holds it together long enough to pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite happy with how it ended up I couldn't think of how to add on. I know how the next chapter is gonna start, but this chapter's ending was awkward no matter how I wrote it, tbh. Sorry my dudes. But hey, I cranked out chapter 2?? After... God knows how long lmao
> 
> TW for: mild descriptions of a car accident via a kid getting hit by a car.

Kankuro was told to pretend everything was alright, after his meeting with the Hokage had finished. So he took a deep breath, and went back to the hotel.

Baki scolded him, over him leaving without saying anything to them, but he was sent to bed without much of a fuss over it, when he said he went to the hospital to see a medic, when he didn't feel any better. It wasn't much of a lie, since technically he _did_ see a medic.

The next morning, they went to the second part of the exam, and Kankuro knew it'd be easy to get to the tower in the middle of the forest. Gaara had a blood lust to him, right now, and it'd be a while before he was the brother that Kankuro could be friends with.

If they became friends at all, at this point.

It would really suck if that never happened, because of this.

Regardless, they stood like good children, listening to the scary proctor's instructions, and Kankuro knew Orochimaru was among the genin surrounding them. He felt sick, and a little scared, if he were being honest with himself.

The first night in the forest was boring, not seeing anyone as they walked. They barely stopped to rest, and Kankuro wasn't surprised. Temari wanted to get to the tower quickly, to be done with this stupid forest. Kankuro did too, for that matter.

The second day they got the scroll they needed, along with a second scroll that they didn't, and Kankuro destroyed it. It would lower the competition, at least.

They reached the tower the next morning, and Kankuro was just glad they didn't come across that many genin, because they didn't need Gaara making too high of a body count, and Kankuro didn't _want_ a high body count.

They spent the next few days relaxing. Or, at least, Temari was. Kankuro was trying hard to _look_ relaxed, and he didn't know if Gaara even _could._ He was stressed, afraid of being caught. He just wanted things to _stop_ , so he could hide under his bed and pretend his mom would come home and make everything better.

Logically, he knew that would never happen, but part of him hoped it would.

Some fourteen year old he turned out to be, huh?

When the rest of the genin arrived, they were definitely cut in half, just about, with only six other teams besides Kankuro and his siblings. Finding out about the Preliminary Exam was a major pain in the ass, and Kankuro didn't think it was fair to hold an impromptu preliminary, but hearing that there was supposed to be _even less_ teams had given Kankuro the chills, and he was thankful a preliminary exam was necessary.

He botched his match, almost. He was panicky, jittery, and being wrapped like that was _terrifying_ , and his mind snapped again, with the memories of being held down in a past life, and Kankuro was grateful he managed to switch places with Karasu just in time to avoid having all of his bones crushed like that.

But he was trying to spare the guy. He didn't want blood on his hands. Not again.

He did, in the end, when the guy wouldn't stop.

He tried to stay calm, as he returned to his place with his siblings and Baki.

“ _Stop! Stop, leaving Alex alone!_ ” Nina's voice hit him, and he stiffened.

“Are you okay?” Temari asked, frowning, as Gaara went down for his match. Kankuro shook his head.

“I feel sick again.” He whispered, and Baki moved, at that, placing a hand on his forehead, right beneath his hat.

“Mm... Slight fever.” Baki said, frowning. “Sit down, and try to relax; I'll take you to a medic after the fights are over.”

He sat, leaning against the wall, with his head between his knees.

“Hey, that Suna guy doesn't look too well...” He heard one of the leaf genin say, and Kankuro felt himself heave a little.

“Shit- _Shit_! Hey! Someone, we need a medic!” Temari shouted, as Baki knelt next to him. His teacher rubbed his back gently.

Hana was summoned, and she took him to the hospital.

“Oh... You're just a right mess.” She sighed, placing a cold rag on his head. “What's your name?”

“Kankuro...” He gave, and Hana smiled smiled at him. He'd never been smiled at like that, not since his mother died.

It felt weird, but kind of nice.

“You'll be alright, Kankuro. I'll take care of you.” She promised, “Do you still feel like you need to be sick?” He'd already puked once already, and he hated that he felt like it still.

“Yes.” He admitted. She ran her fingers through his hair.

“You'll be alright.” She promised, placing a short, plastic, pink bin on the small table next to him. “If you feel sick, use this. It's what it's for.” He nodded, and was left alone.

He curled up, once he was alone, and didn't stop his tears.

He vomited again, but he felt better after, unlike before, so he put the bucket back on the small table, and curled up again.

_“Alex! Alex, come play with me!” Nina laughed, grabbing his hand. A laugh came from him, at her begging._

_“Okay, Nina!” He promised, “Come on, let's go to the swings, just across the street!”_

_“Okay!” Nina laughed again, and the two started walking over. He heard the tires squealing, as Nina ran ahead of him_

_“No! No!” He shouted, “Nina! He ran,_ _reaching out, and g_ _rabbing her hand. When he turned to the street, Nina screamed._

_"Alex!" She cried, and his heart stopped, as it came closer._

“No!” Kankuro shot up, sweating and panting, his eyes wide. He took in the room, his memories of the Exam coming back to him.

“Kankuro?” Hana came in, worried. “I heard you scream.” He looked at her, and her eyes widened. “Oh, are you alright?” She walked over to him, and sat on the edge of the hospital bed. “What happened? A nightmare?” He nodded, too afraid to talk.

It was a nightmare, that was it. He's had them before, all the time, since he learned what Gaara was.

He _absolutely refused_ to think of that dream as a memory.

“Oh, Kankuro, it's alright. You're safe.” Hana promised, “The preliminaries ended a few hours ago. Your teacher stopped by, before he had to go wrangle in your siblings.” Kankuro slowly nodded in response, and as Hana moved on to talk about her younger brother – one of the leaf genin from the chuunin exam – it occurred to Kankuro that the medic was hugging him.

Temari never hugged him.

Maybe she will one day.

He wasn't stupid enough to believe it, though. Not after what he's done to the village, what he's actively doing.

He hoped he made the right decision, regardless.

 


End file.
